This series of convo's was put together by none other than Rowan, aka paragon (paragon_au@hotmail.com). Cyber Sex at is best, some of its weird, some of its mean, some of its sick. But its all fucking funny. As a side note, not all of these are Cyber Sex, some of the later ones are just funny chat logs, which had something to do with Sex or CyberSex. Think its good, distribute it, think its not. Then you don’t know what laughter is. So I'll explain, the noise you were making while reading this. Its called laughter. Now you know, send it out aswell. I now present you with... -------------------------- ##### ##### # # # # ##### ###### ##### # # ###### # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # ##### ##### # # ##### ##### ## # # # # # ##### # # ## # # # # # # # # # # # # # ##### # ##### ###### # # ##### ###### # # b AA i b AA t t b t A A t t b t A A ttttt i ttttt ssss b bbb eee ssss ttttt A A t i t s s bb b e e s s t A A t i t s b b e e s t A A t i t ss b b eeeeeee ss t AAAAAA t i t ss b b e ss t A A t i t s b b e s t A A t i t s s b b e e s s t A A ttt i ttt ssss bbbbb eeee ssss ttt Version 2 -------------------------- Girl: Hi Boy: hello Boy: who is this? Girl: just a someone? Boy: A someone I know? Girl: nope Boy: Then why the hell are you bothering me? Girl: well sorrrrrry Girl: I just wanted to chat with you Boy: why? Girl: nevermind your an asshole Boy: Hey wait a minute Girl: yes? Boy: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid Girl: paranoid? Boy: yes Girl: of what? Girl: me? Boy: No. I'm in hiding. Girl: LOL Boy: Don't fucking laugh at me! Boy: This shit is serious! Girl: What are you hiding from? Boy: The cops. Girl: gimme a fucking break Boy: I'm serious. Girl: I don't get it Boy: The cops are after me. Girl: For what? Boy: I'm wanted in three states Girl: For??? Boy: It's kindof embarrasing. Boy: I had sex with a turkey. Boy: Hello? Girl: You are fucking sick. Boy: Send me your picture. Girl: why? Boy: so I know you aren't one of them. Girl: One of what? Boy: The cops. Girl: I'm not a cop i told you Boy: Then send me your picture. Girl: hold on Boy: Hurry up. Boy: Are you there? Boy: fuck you, cop! Girl: Hey sorry Girl: I had to do something for my mom. Boy: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me. Boy: When really you were notifying the authorities. Boy: Weren't you!? Girl: thats not it Boy: Then what? Girl: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty Boy: Most cops aren't Girl: IM NOT A FUCKING COP YOU DICKHEAD! Boy: Then send me the picture. Girl: fine. What's your e-mail? Boy: Just send it through here. Girl: alright *PIC* Girl: Did you get it? Boy: Hold on. I'm looking. Girl: That was me back in may Girl: I've lost weight since then. Boy: I hope so Girl: what?!? Girl: that hurt my feelings. Boy: Did it? Girl: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now. Boy: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture? Girl: yes Boy: Alright let me find it. Girl: kks Boy: Okay here it is. *PIC* Girl: this isn't you. Boy: I'll be damned if it ain't! Girl: You don't look like that. Boy: How the hell do you know? Girl: cause your profile has another picture. Boy: The profile pic is a fake. Boy: I use it to hide from the cops. Girl: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol Boy: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy.... Boy: Not to mention all the groceries. Girl: Go fuck yourself Boy: I was going to until I saw that picture Boy: Now my dick won't get hard for a week. Girl: I shouldn't have sent you that picture. Girl: You've done nothing but slam me. Girl: you hurt me. Boy: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me? Girl: I thought you were bullshitting me! Boy: Why would I do that? Girl: I can't believe that cops are after you Boy: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap.. Girl: FUC YOU!!! Boy: You'd break both of his legs. Girl: You're a FUCKing asshole. Girl: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight Girl: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me Boy: Ok. I'm sorry. Girl: No you aren't Boy: You're right. I'm not. Boy: HAARRRRR! Girl: I'm done with you Boy: Aww. I'm sorry. Girl: I'm putting you on ignore Boy: Wait a sec Boy: We got off on the wrong foot. Boy: Wanna start over? Girl: No Boy: I'll eat your pussy Girl: You'll what? Boy: You heard me. Boy: I said I'd eat your pussy. Girl: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture Boy: Do I need a hard-on to eat your pussy? Girl: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes Boy: Well I'm not like most men. Boy: I get excited in different ways. Girl: Like what? Boy: Do you really wanna know? Girl: I don't know Boy: You have to tell me yes or no. Girl: I'm afraid to Boy: Why? Girl: cause Boy: cause why? Girl: well lets see Girl: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out Girl: doesn't that seem strange to you? Boy: Nope Girl: well its strange to me Boy: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to Girl: I didn't say that Boy: So is that a yes? Girl: I guess so. Boy: Ok. I need your help getting excited though. Boy: Are you willing? Girl: What do you need me to do? Boy: I need you talk like a pirate. Girl: ??? Boy: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!" Boy: ok? Boy: Hello? Girl: You can't be serious Boy: Oh yes I am! Boy: It's my fantasy. Girl: this is retarded Boy: Do you want it or not? Girl: Yes I want it. Boy: Then you'll do it for me? Girl: sure Boy: Ok. Here we go. Boy: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs. Boy: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them Boy: I softly begin to tounge your wet pussy. Boy: I run my tounge up and down your smooth slit. Girl: mmmm yeah Boy: uh oh ...going limp. Girl: Har Boy: You gotta do better than that! Boy: Your picture was really bad. Girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRR Boy: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your pussy get more moist with every stroke. Boy: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth. Boy: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose. Boy: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity. Girl: mmmmmm you are good Boy: I feel your thighs tighten as I suck harder Boy: going limp Girl: HARRRRRRR Boy: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands. Boy: You begin to sway back and forth. Boy: going limp Girl: this is stupid Boy: ...still limp Boy: Do it! Girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR Boy: I turn you around to lick your asshole. Boy: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass. Boy: I see shit nuggets hanging from the hair around your asshole. Girl: WTF?!?!? Boy: They stink really bad. Girl: OMG STOP!!! Boy: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass Boy: I tear off your wooden peg leg. Boy: I ram it up your ass. Girl: YOURE A FUCKING PYSCHO!! Boy: Then I pour hot carmel over your head. Boy: And turn you into a fucking candy apple... Boy: I kick you in the face! Girl: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!! Boy: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin... Boy: Your parrot flys away. Boy: ...going limp again. Boy: Hello? Boy: Say it! Boy: HAARRRRRR!!!!! ------------------------------- bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you. j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u. bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure. j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go. j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck. bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory. j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on. j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt. bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts. j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game. bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass. j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious. bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass. bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet. j_gurli3: thats it. bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn. bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now. ------------------------------- bloodninja: Wanna cyber? Katie_007: Sure, you into vegetables? bloodninja: What like gardening an shit? Katie_007: Yeah, something like that. bloodninja: Nothing turns me on more, check this out: bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes. (pause) Katie_007: is that it? bloodninja: You water your tomato patch. bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce? Katie_007: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me? (pause) bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... sexily. bloodninja: I ride your buttocks like they were amber waves of grains. Katie_007: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis. bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots. bloodninja: Damn baby you're right, this shit is HOTT. Katie_007: ... bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love. Katie_007: What the f*ck is this madlibs? I'm outta here. bloodninja: Yeah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch. Katie_007: whatever. ------------------------------- Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like? Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like? Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart.I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny. Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me? Wellhung: OK. Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table.I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge. Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat. Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest. Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse.My hands are trembling. Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly. Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly. Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.The cool silk slides off my warm skin.I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing. Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse.I'm sorry. Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive. Wellhung: I'll pay for it. Sweetheart: Don't worry about it.I'm wearing a lacy black bra.My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder. Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra.I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors? Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly.I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you. Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp. Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me. Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat! Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear. Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm. Sweetheart: What? Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really. Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse. Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop. Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool. Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee! Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties. Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute. Sweetheart: What's the matter? Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking. Sweetheart: Are you OK? Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red. Sweetheart: Can I help? Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups? Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink. Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better. Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover. Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now. Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you. Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom? Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall. Wellhung: I found it. Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly. Wellhung: Me too. Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately - our naked bodies pressing each other. Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts. Sweetheart: Why don't you take off your glasses? Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table. Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby! Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom. Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover. Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid. Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return. Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh! Sweetheart: What's the matter now? Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way. Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on. Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...in your...you know...woman's thing. Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it! Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here. Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now! Wellhung: I'm flaccid. Sweetheart: What? Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection. Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face. Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong. Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse. Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray,picture frames and your candles. Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes. Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face. Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser! Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo! Sweetheart: { [logged off] ------------------------------- Partner6: So you're really a 18 yr old girl right? J-Dogg: Yeah, J for Julie. Partner6: So whats with the "Dogg" J-Dogg: Uh, It's cause I'm into the latina gangs and shit. You know, rollin with tha homies and shit. Partner6: Oh, uh ok thats cool. So you ever seen a gun? J-Dogg: Yeah like I got 6 guns. Partner6: Thats cool, so you wanna see my gun? J-Dogg: hehe, of course baby. Partner6: I pull off my pants and show you my "gun". J-Dogg: Ohh, it's so big. Partner6: Yeah, what you want to do? J-Dogg: Umm, i guess stroke it or something. Partner6: It likes that. J-Dogg: aight. Partner6: Keep talking to me baby... J-Dogg: I kiss you on the mouth, hard, but then gently. Partner6: Mmmm, daddy like. J-Dogg: I unzip my pants... Partner6: Yes, show me what you got. J-Dogg: I pull out my schlong, and rub it on your breasts... Partner6: WTF?! J-Dogg: Oh shit, I meant, your schlong! your schlong! Partner6: I've had it with you queers trying to cyber me, I only fuck women... J-Dogg: Shit just don't shoot me man, I wasn't serious about the guns I have, I'm unarmed! Partner6: You dipshit. J-Dogg: I whimper to myself... J-Dogg: please don't shoot me Mr. ---------------------- J-Dogg: I see you in line at the supermarket. Our eyes meet. Partner8: Who the fuck are you? J-Dogg: I mouth the words to you, as if in slow motion: J-Dogg: Fuck me, Fuck me. J-Dogg: My wishes are like poetry in your eyes. We want this moment to last forever. Partner8: OMFG are you trying to cyber me? J-Dogg: We are like two dancers, for whom the music never stops. I Kiss the top of your hand. You are taken aback by the bulge that forms in your thigh. Partner8: Is that like cancer? J-Dogg: If cancer is our love, then I hope you don't have the technology of chemotherapy. Partner8: Good one romeo. J-Dogg: You grab the bulge that you feel. you tihink it must be taking over your mind, theres nothing else you can think of. My tubesteak to you is like a beautiful japanese haiku. The salmon swim at night. Towards your room. The snow and the moon. Partner8: that was never a haiku. J-Dogg: To your light bulb I am the Thomas Edison of your sex. Withought my light you would be lost in a sea of darkness. Partner8: That made even less sense than your "haiku" J-Dogg: So you ready to fuck then? Partner8: You unbutton my pants, spew your load at the sight of my underwear, and your spent. J-Dogg: ... Partner8: ? J-Dogg: I'm spent. --------------------- J-dogg:Hey Kate, I saw you on the hs chatroom J-dogg:Your pretty funny DirtyKate:I don't remember you.. but thanx J-dogg:Wanna cyber? DirtyKate:OK, but don't tell anybody DirtyKate:Who are you? J-dogg:I graduated two years ago. I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot. Right now I'm going to Auburn J-dogg:And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my new Sebring DirtyKate:You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car.. J-dogg:Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order DirtyKate: Haha! OK DirtyKate:Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce. J-dogg:Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want? DirtyKate:I want everything, baby! J-dogg:Is this a delivery? DirtyKate:Umm...Yes DirtyKate:So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower... J-dogg:Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house. DirtyKate:Jdogg, I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up! J-dogg:You can't hurry good pizza. J-dogg:I'm on my way now though DirtyKate:So you're at my front door now. J-dogg:How did you know? J-dogg:I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table. J-dogg:Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven DirtyKate:Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby J-dogg:So you're still in the bathroom? DirtyKate:Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself. J-dogg:I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door.... DirtyKate:What the fuck? DirtyKate:You perverted piece of shit DirtyKate:Fuck ------------------------- VictimX_27: Hi there! cheesedog: HEYA! VictimX_27: What u up 2? cheesedog: Nice English. cheesedog: Did you learn that on the short bus? VictimX_27: Get fucked cheesedog: I'm just joking relax VictimX_27: cheesedog: What's your name? VictimX_27: Whats yours? cheesedog: I asked you first. VictimX_27: I asked you second cheesedog: Did I time just warp to middle school? VictimX_27: huh cheesedog: Never mind. My name is Johnny cheesedog: Johnny Cheesedog VictimX_27: Thats not your real name cheesedog: Why isn't that my real name? VictimX_27: No one has the name Cheesedog as a last name cheesedog: Well I do. Whats wrong with it? VictimX_27: Nothin i suppose VictimX_27: Is that your real pic in that av? cheesedog: Yes it is VictimX_27: Very handsome cheesedog: Thanks VictimX_27: You kinda look like eminem cheesedog: Fuck you. VictimX_27: HEY! I meant that in a good way VictimX_27: I think eminem is hot! cheesedog: Oh. You think I'm hot? VictimX_27: Yeah cheesedog: What do you look like? cheesedog: Do you have a pic? VictimX_27: I don't show my picture to anyone cheesedog: Why not? VictimX_27: Cause I'm ugly cheesedog: I won't make fun of you VictimX_27: Its not that. I just don't like my looks cheesedog: So you have no self-esteem, huh? cheesedog: Is that what you're saying? VictimX_27: I just don't think I'm pretty cheesedog: Let me be the judge of that. VictimX_27: Nahhh cheesedog: Then describe yourself. VictimX_27: Why do u wanna know what I look like? cheesedog: Because I think you're nice cheesedog: I want to picture you in my head while I'm talking to you. cheesedog: ??? VictimX_27: I'm very white cheesedog: Thats cool, my white anti-soul sista' VictimX_27: LOL cheesedog: I can dig white chicks too, I guess. VictimX_27: I'm whiter than most cheesedog: really? VictimX_27: I'm an albino cheesedog: a what? VictimX_27: u don't know what that is? cheesedog: I've heard the word before VictimX_27: I have no pigment in my skin, eyes or hair VictimX_27: So I'm all white cheesedog: This is bullshit VictimX_27: I'm serious! VictimX_27: You've never seen an albino before? cheesedog: No. Where do they live? Albinia? VictimX_27: No, we live all over. cheesedog: Then how come I've never seen any VictimX_27: Lucky I suppose cheesedog: Send me your picture. I wanna know what an albino looks like. VictimX_27: I'll send you a picture of one but not me cheesedog: Ok VictimX_27: Here u go *PIC* cheesedog: Whoa. Thats freaky VictimX_27: See why I don't send my picture out? cheesedog: there's nothing wrong with it. cheesedog: It doesn't make you ugly cheesedog: This chick is kind of hot actually. VictimX_27: Thank u cheesedog: No problem cheesedog: Her, not you. I don't know what you look like. VictimX_27: Are you gonna be on in 3 hours? cheesedog: Yes VictimX_27: I have to go to the mall with my sister VictimX_27: Will you be here when I get back? cheesedog: Sure. Then I'll sex you up. VictimX_27: Gee thanks. LOL cheesedog: I'm serious VictimX_27: We'll see. cheesedog: Yes we will. VictimX_27: Bye for now! cheesedog: Make sure you wear some sunscreen. VictimX_27: About 3 hours later... VictimX_27: HEY! cheesedog: Hello there VictimX_27: I'm back cheesedog: Have fun at the mall? VictimX_27: Yeah. I got some new shoes cheesedog: Interesting VictimX_27: Not really. Just shoes cheesedog: You ready to be sexed up now? VictimX_27: LOL cheesedog: Is that a yes? VictimX_27: Could be VictimX_27: cheesedog: HOT DAMN! cheesedog: I gently suck your nipples cheesedog: I feel them get hard then I jam my hand down your.. VictimX_27: WOAH! Slow down cowboy cheesedog: Why? VictimX_27: I'm not just gonna cyber with you if thats all you want cheesedog: What do you mean? VictimX_27: You're not going to ignore me later are you? cheesedog: Of course not. cheesedog: I like you. VictimX_27: I don't even know how old you are. cheesedog: I'm 27. Now.... cheesedog: I gently massage your breasts with my rough hands cheesedog: I roll your nipples between my fingers VictimX_27: WAIT! cheesedog: They get hard again... what? VictimX_27: Don't you wanna know anything about me first? VictimX_27: Like what I like? cheesedog: Oh yeah. Sure. Hurry up. VictimX_27: That didn't sound convincing. cheesedog: YES I WANNA KNOW WHAT YOU LIKE RIGHT NOW!!! VictimX_27: Now u r being a smartass VictimX_27: Just give me a minute cheesedog: ok VictimX_27: I'm back cheesedog: np VictimX_27: thank you cheesedog: So what do you like? VictimX_27: Ummmm being licked cheesedog: Where? VictimX_27: Everywhere cheesedog: Any place in particular? VictimX_27: uhhh yeah cheesedog: tell me VictimX_27: on my clit cheesedog: OK! cheesedog: NOW YOU'RE TALKIN! VictimX_27: I also like being done from behind cheesedog: Ooooooohhhh. cheesedog: Ok. Check this out. cheesedog: We're in an abandoned building. cheesedog: No one is around. Its all quiet. VictimX_27: Uh huh cheesedog: I gently unbutton your pants and slide my hand across your clit cheesedog: You get all warm and juicy. cheesedog: I slip your panties down and continue to massage your pussy VictimX_27: oooohh mmmm cheesedog: I place my mouth on your pussy as I eat you from behind cheesedog: I wiggle my tounge around across your moist hole VictimX_27: yessss cheesedog: I cover your ears with my hands as I eat you. cheesedog: Egon and Ray sneak in from the back. cheesedog: *Powering up Proton packs* VictimX_27: ??? cheesedog: Then... Egon BLASTS your pasty white ass!! cheesedog: POW!! BZZZZZTTTTTPHTTTTTT!!! cheesedog: Winston and Peter set up the containment trap.... VictimX_27: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT!!! cheesedog: You wiggle around in the proton streams buck naked cheesedog: The streams almost cross! Look out!! cheesedog: Peter smacks you across the chin with his gun cheesedog: They open the trap and it sucks your pale ass in! VictimX_27: This isn't funny johnny! cheesedog: SHUT UP! YOUR CAUGHT! cheesedog: **puts you in the containment area** cheesedog: Slimer is in there too.. VictimX_27: YOU ARE A FUCKING ASSHOLE! cheesedog: I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP! cheesedog: Now...Slimer sticks his green, slimey cock in your pigmentless ass. cheesedog: **HE SLIMES YOU!** VictimX_27: Never talk to me again! cheesedog: He cums all over your hair... but no one notices cause its the same color VictimX_27: FUCK YOUUUU cheesedog: He eats a powdered donut! VictimX_27: SHUT UP AND FUCK YOUUUU!!!!! cheesedog: No wait! It was your hand, you scary, white whore! VictimX_27: LEAVE ME ALONE!!! cheesedog: Chill out, Casper. You're trapped, I said. cheesedog: Slimer goes to lick your clit. cheesedog: But there is already slime on your it!! cheesedog: Slimer thinks you are a cheater and gets jealous!! cheesedog: HE RIPS YOUR WHITE TITS OFF! VictimX_27: FUCK YOU!!!!!!!! cheesedog: **Plays volleyball with them** VictimX_27: USER HAS LOGGED OUT ------------------------------------ AstroBoy: Hey Sugarlips, u a chick? Sugarlips: yup, duh. AstroBoy: hey wanna cyber? Sugarlips: I dunno.. how old are you? AstroBoy: i'm 19 Sugarlips: i'm 13... AstroBoy: I meant 14, typo=P Sugarlips: ok... AstroBoy: so u wanna? Sugarlips: uh... I guess... AstroBoy: ok u start! Sugarlips: ok... uhh... Sugarlips: I've never done this before AstroBoy: oh i've done it lots, I'm a a vet. you can learn from a professional =) Sugarlips: ummm... AstroBoy: I'll start then AstroBoy: I take u out back in my shed where no one can hear u scream Sugarlips: wtf? AstroBoy: well u didn't want to start, where would u do it? Sugarlips: umm... whatever it doesn't matter AstroBoy: ok so I take u into my shed, and whack you over the head with a shovel Sugarlips: !! AstroBoy: So then when u are unconcious, I start to undress u Sugarlips: I think i'm going to go... AstroBoy: nonono stay! Sugarlips: errr... AstroBoy: ok ok, i'll start over. Sugarlips: fine, but dont be so weird this time AstroBoy: ok, sorry AstroBoy: u wanna start this time? Sugarlips: na that's fine. u go ahead AstroBoy: k AstroBoy: It's night time, and very dark. I see u walking down the street. u r looking beautiful and I cant take my eyes off of u. Sugarlips: thats more like it. AstroBoy: I run up to u from behind and smash u over the head with a shovel. over and over again I wail at ur head. Then I drag ur limp, lifeless body back ino the forest where I remove ur clothing. Sugarlips: ur fucking sick! AstroBoy: Then I take out peanut butter and jam and rub it all over ur body. After u look editable and delicious I then reach for some bread. Sugarlips has left AstroBoy: damn. ----------------------- RockClmbr2002: rachael, do u have bragg? ra3ch3lth3gr3at: who is this RockClmbr2002: trevor RockClmbr2002: do you have bragg? ra3ch3lth3gr3at: no i don't hon RockClmbr2002: oh, ok, nm then RockClmbr2002: thnx neways ra3ch3lth3gr3at: your welcome sexy RockClmbr2002: what? ra3ch3lth3gr3at: you know i never told you before but i think you're sexy RockClmbr2002: ok, like, are you Rachael? or is someone else there cuz this is a little scary ra3ch3lth3gr3at: its me honey RockClmbr2002: ok, well, what have you beeen doing lately? ra3ch3lth3gr3at: not a whole lot what about you? RockClmbr2002: um, well, i hjave been thinking about you ra3ch3lth3gr3at: oh really? RockClmbr2002: yes really, alot of time ra3ch3lth3gr3at: and what thoughts have you been having about me? RockClmbr2002: well, it was.. nothing really ra3ch3lth3gr3at: you were doing alot of thinking about me but it was nothing really? ra3ch3lth3gr3at: hey you don't have to be shy with me RockClmbr2002: oh, ok, well, i don't know how to put what i felt in words ra3ch3lth3gr3at: well why don't you try RockClmbr2002: well, ok, but what do u want me to say? ra3ch3lth3gr3at: its not about what i want you to say or what i want to hear sweetie ra3ch3lth3gr3at: its about your feelings RockClmbr2002: oh, wel, i don't know what to say, rent u an geof? RockClmbr2002: nm ra3ch3lth3gr3at: no but i think you have feelings for me RockClmbr2002: what kind of feelings? RockClmbr2002: and would that be god or bad? ra3ch3lth3gr3at: you know romantic feelings i've seen the way you look at me RockClmbr2002: well, do u like those feelings that u see ra3ch3lth3gr3at: i have the same feelings for you RockClmbr2002: oh ra3ch3lth3gr3at: yes when i see you i get a tingly feeling all over RockClmbr2002: well, um, i have soathing to say to ra3ch3lth3gr3at: yes? RockClmbr2002: well, i should apologize if i led u the wrong way, um, yeah RockClmbr2002: the thing I wanted to say was, "Alex" RockClmbr2002: sorry ra3ch3lth3gr3at: what about alex? RockClmbr2002: well, she is the love of my life ra3ch3lth3gr3at: i know that sweetie thats why i haven't made a move on you before RockClmbr2002: well, what happened w/ Goef? ra3ch3lth3gr3at: he's a nice guy RockClmbr2002: well, don't u think, nm ra3ch3lth3gr3at: but he's lacking in some areas RockClmbr2002: like what? ra3ch3lth3gr3at: well its kinda hard to explain RockClmbr2002: oh, well, what do u see in me? ra3ch3lth3gr3at: well Geof is nice but he's a minute man RockClmbr2002: oh, ok ra3ch3lth3gr3at: and i do like him but its not satisfying RockClmbr2002: oh, and i am? ra3ch3lth3gr3at: when it comes to that thing i'd much rather be with you RockClmbr2002: oh, ok, what about like fletcher, or trent, or even lucas? ra3ch3lth3gr3at: well i do have fantasies RockClmbr2002: omg, relly? RockClmbr2002: omg RockClmbr2002: woww ra3ch3lth3gr3at: well you do too! ra3ch3lth3gr3at: i got news for you mister we females like it too and have our own fantasies RockClmbr2002: like what? ra3ch3lth3gr3at: well i know you guys ra3ch3lth3gr3at: you have all sorts of naughty thoughts RockClmbr2002: go on RockClmbr2002: please do ra3ch3lth3gr3at: i'll bet you've fantisied about haveing more than one girl in the sack haven't y you? RockClmbr2002: um, well RockClmbr2002: uh, do u eally want me talking bout this RockClmbr2002: do u enjoy ur little fantasies RockClmbr2002: and what happens in these fantasies, rachael? ra3ch3lth3gr3at: come on its a common fantasy amoung men RockClmbr2002: well, all guys are different, u dont't know bout me ra3ch3lth3gr3at: i do enjoy them RockClmbr2002: what happens in them ra3ch3lth3gr3at: true but tell me you haven't once thought of me and Alex and you together RockClmbr2002: well, i dont really want to b sharing that rigth now ra3ch3lth3gr3at: i know you are uncomfortable ra3ch3lth3gr3at: she is yourlove and thoughts of sex with someone other than her might make you feel bad RockClmbr2002: if i said yes to u, would u want to make love with me ra3ch3lth3gr3at: yes i would RockClmbr2002: what if it was 2morrow ra3ch3lth3gr3at: yes tomorrow what time? my place or yours? RockClmbr2002: and what do u think? RockClmbr2002: would be best RockClmbr2002: place and time ra3ch3lth3gr3at: its up to you ra3ch3lth3gr3at: is there anything special you want me to wear RockClmbr2002: well, i don know, r ur parents home ra3ch3lth3gr3at: crap i think moms gonna be home tomorrow RockClmbr2002: oh, ok, does nebody else know about it, ne friends, ppl, etc. ra3ch3lth3gr3at: GOD NO! RockClmbr2002: would u ever tell? RockClmbr2002: ne one? ra3ch3lth3gr3at: NO! i know you love alex alot it would kill her if she found out ra3ch3lth3gr3at: and Geof. i like him too i'd hate to hurt his feelings RockClmbr2002: oh, ok, r u serious about doing it? ra3ch3lth3gr3at: yes can we do it your bedroom? RockClmbr2002: impossible, my parents, and my mom is always home RockClmbr2002: plus how ould u ge here ra3ch3lth3gr3at: ok lets meet some where RockClmbr2002: like where ra3ch3lth3gr3at: how abotu at Alex's house? ra3ch3lth3gr3at: she's right here with me. ra3ch3lth3gr3at: want me to ask her if it's ok for us to have sex at her house? RockClmbr2002: bull shit she is not there ra3ch3lth3gr3at: Trevor. This is Alex. ra3ch3lth3gr3at: I can't believe you are trying to have sex with Rachel RockClmbr2002: what is this ra3ch3lth3gr3at: I came over here to talk to Rachel and you wrote to her ra3ch3lth3gr3at: what the hell do you think you're doing, Trevor? RockClmbr2002: i am not doing anything shes the one who started it ra3ch3lth3gr3at: Oh, please. I've been watching the entire time, Trevor. ra3ch3lth3gr3at: it was funny at first but then you started trying to have SEX with her??? ra3ch3lth3gr3at: Trevor, you told me that you loved me! ra3ch3lth3gr3at: NOW YOU WANT TO FUCK RACHAEL? RockClmbr2002: I DIOD NOT DO ANYTHING ALEX RockClmbr2002: ALL i did was ask her if she had bragg and then i was going RockClmbr2002: she started and I was just joking anyway ra3ch3lth3gr3at: I don't believe you and I don't ever want to see you again, Trevor. RockClmbr2002: ALEX RockClmbr2002: LISTEN TO ME ra3ch3lth3gr3at: NO. goodbye, Trevor RockClmbr2002: ALEX ra3ch3lth3gr3at: i hate you and i hope you DIE!! RockClmbr2002: ALEX RockClmbr2002: rachel tell her the truth that you were just joking with me RockClmbr2002: rachel RockClmbr2002: answer me please RockClmbr2002: this isn't funny it was just a joke so why wont you answer RockClmbr2002: alex ra3ch3lth3gr3at: sorry trevor RockClmbr2002: this isnt funny ra3ch3lth3gr3at: i thought it would be funny but then you got all serious ra3ch3lth3gr3at: this is rachale again RockClmbr2002: I DID NOT ra3ch3lth3gr3at: alex left RockClmbr2002: YOUR tHE one who started this ra3ch3lth3gr3at: im really sorry RockClmbr2002: where did she go? RockClmbr2002: this is not even funny rachael ra3ch3lth3gr3at: please trevor im really sorry RockClmbr2002: you just messed up my whole life ra3ch3lth3gr3at: im so sorry RockClmbr2002: is she gone or is she still there ra3ch3lth3gr3at: she ran out ra3ch3lth3gr3at: i think shes downstairs calling her mom ra3ch3lth3gr3at: are you ok? ra3ch3lth3gr3at: trevor RockClmbr2002: im here ra3ch3lth3gr3at: im so sorry ra3ch3lth3gr3at: but i really do think about you like that all the time ra3ch3lth3gr3at: i know this is all crazy now but do you still? RockClmbr2002: are you serious? ra3ch3lth3gr3at: yeah ra3ch3lth3gr3at: alex left and i dont know ra3ch3lth3gr3at: you said you were thinking about me ra3ch3lth3gr3at: is that true? ra3ch3lth3gr3at: i really do think your sexy and ra3ch3lth3gr3at: i dont know ra3ch3lth3gr3at: nevermind RockClmbr2002: this is crazy ra3ch3lth3gr3at: im sorry about alex ra3ch3lth3gr3at: are you mad at me? RockClmbr2002: no RockClmbr2002: im not mad ra3ch3lth3gr3at: so do you still want to meet? RockClmbr2002: yeah i do but this is all messed up now ra3ch3lth3gr3at: you do ra3ch3lth3gr3at: do you still want to have sex? RockClmbr2002: yeah but ra3ch3lth3gr3at: you do? RockClmbr2002: yes i do ra3ch3lth3gr3at: TREVOR! THIS IS ALEX STILL. ra3ch3lth3gr3at: I CAN NOT BELIEVE YOU RockClmbr2002: this is just crazy ra3ch3lth3gr3at: I HOPE YOU FUCKING DIE TREVOR YOU LIAR!!!! ra3ch3lth3gr3at: I WILL NEVER TALK TO YOU AGAIN!! ra3ch3lth3gr3at: I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! ra3ch3lth3gr3at: I HOPE YOU DIE AND GO TO FUCKING HELL TREVOR! RockClmbr2002: i cant take this ra3ch3lth3gr3at: I HOPE YOU DIE AND GO TO HELL!! RockClmbr2002: <> --------------------- *************WARNING: RACIST*************** Gorthorare: Helo cheesedog: hey there Gorthorare: sex? cheesedog: OK! Sure! Gorthorare: no cheesedog: What? cheesedog: Why not? Gorthorare: you girl? cheesedog: Oh, I see. cheesedog: Ummmm.. yeah, sure Gorthorare: you want me? cheesedog: Do I want you? cheesedog: That depends. What do you look like? Gorthorare: i asain. good looking cheesedog: Are you packing? Gorthorare: packing??? cheesedog: Yeah. You got a big dick? Gorthorare: dick very big cheesedog: I don't believe you. cheesedog: Japs don't have big dicks. Gorthorare: I not japan. I Chinese cheesedog: So, Chinks have big cocks huh? Gorthorare: I do Gorthorare: it big cheesedog: Hmmmm.. .Well, ok then cheesedog: Your fucking head is certainly big enough. cheesedog: Got a nude pic of yourself? Gorthorare: what is pic? cheesedog: A picture. Gorthorare: Yes I have picture cheesedog: Let's see it, big guy cheesedog: Are you there? cheesedog: HEY Bruce Lee! cheesedog: ARE YOU THERE? Gorthorare: i looking cheesedog: You don't speak English very well, do you? Gorthorare: I speak good Englis cheesedog: Well you could have fooled me. Gorthorare: it take time cheesedog: So does wiping my ass... cheesedog: But I need it done by next Sunday. Gorthorare: haheha cheesedog: How about that picture, Jackie Chan? cheesedog: hello? cheesedog: Wake up you slant-eyed fuck! Gorthorare: yes i will fuck cheesedog: You don't have any idea what the fuck I'm saying to you, do you? cheesedog: You're using an English to Chinese translator aren't you? Gorthorare: I know some word cheesedog: Great, then I can call you a cock-blowing son of a shit-bag, and you won't understand a fucking bit of it. cheesedog: Right? cheesedog: Isn't that right, you zipperhead motherfucker? Gorthorare: what zipperhead? cheesedog: Its another word for sexy. cheesedog: I'm gonna call you that from now on you dusty sack-licking jackhole. Gorthorare: I no understand cheesedog: Ok, lets get to the sex you zipperheaded, bucktoothed, chink. Gorthorare: i want sex you cheesedog: Sure. But first I want to try something. cheesedog: I only have rough sex. cheesedog: Ok, zipperhead? cheesedog: Are you ok with that? cheesedog: Zipperhead? Gorthorare: I like hurt sex cheesedog: Good, let's get it on. cheesedog: First I whip out the dental floss. cheesedog: *Blindfolding you with it* cheesedog: You got a brick handy? Gorthorare: I have cock cheesedog: Not a cock, dickhole. A brick. Gorthorare: what brick? cheesedog: Jesus. cheesedog: Are you this stupid in person? Gorthorare: oooo want you suck it. cheesedog: *Whips out a vacuum.* Gorthorare: oooo mmmm sucky cheesedog: *Smashes brick on the side of your face.* cheesedog: *Leaves huge, red scuff-mark on yellow forehead.* cheesedog: *Kicks you in the nuts...* Gorthorare: oooo blow head cheesedog: Shut up. cheesedog: You can't talk. cheesedog: I just bashed you in the head with a brick. Gorthorare: goddby cheesedog: There's blood all over the place and your... cheesedog: Goodby? cheesedog: Are you finished already? cheesedog: Come on. This is really turning me on. cheesedog: Did I say something to offend you? cheesedog: Hello? Gorthorare: --------------------- I don’t claim responsibility for being any of the people in these convos. They have been found scattered around the net. Tho, depending on which version you have, maybe I've done some of my own >:)